The Potential Trap text
Imagine you're an athlete. It goes without saying the only way you'll improve your performance is by practicing, getting feedback, making small improvements, and practicing again. Receiving feedback is part of the process, a way to understand what you're doing well and how you can improve. If this is an essential and welcomed method in sport, why is it that receiving and giving feedback can be such a tricky process in other areas of our lives? Often part of the reason we don't like to ask for feedback is when others suggest improvements it feels like a criticism or something very personal. On the flip side, giving feedback can be tricky if you feel that you don't want to offend the other person. The key to feedback, however, is to remember that it's just a tool, not a personal attack on you or your character. It's a process that will help you to get better at what you do, continue what you're already good at, and build better relationships. It's important to be sensitive in how you provide feedback. By focusing on ways that people can improve rather than what they're doing wrong, it makes the experience more positive. Generalized feedback that starts with you always actually isn't that useful. So when giving feedback, if you keep it specific, it makes it easier for the other person to absorb the information and plan how to make improvements to specific actions, tasks, and behaviors. When you ask others for feedback, if you ask what can I do better rather than what am I doing wrong, it flips the response into a more positive mode. Focusing on constructive feedback where you can actually make changes or improvements is key. You want to use feedback to help reach your potential, so it's crucial you get comfortable with viewing feedback as a process to help you achieve more, build strong relationships, and improve your performance. Now imagine again you're an athlete and you've plateaued in your performance. If you don't receive feedback from your coaches or colleagues, how can you make changes to improve your performance? If you were advised you need to concentrate on perfecting a specific movement to get better at your sport, the chances you would relish that feedback and you'd be thankful. Sure, you may be a bit disappointed that you need to make improvements, but for athletes, that feeling is outweighed by the desire to improve and to keep developing. So why should your personal or work life be any different? If you're not actively seeking feedback, you're at risk of falling into the potential trap, never quite reaching your potential because you're unclear on how you come across to others and what you can change to improve. Think about how you receive feedback from others. Is it a positive or negative process for you? Does it leave you feeling grateful or uncomfortable? What can you do to make sure that you don't fall into the potential trap?
So, how can you realize your potential and give and receive feedback in a positive way? Consider the person, the message, and your possible responses. How will your possible responses come across to the person? What do you want to communicate to them? Consider the means of feedback. Is an email appropriate or would a face to face meeting best communicate your desired message to the person? Consider other sources of information that might influence your feedback. Are other people involved that need to hear the feedback? Do you need to do research or gather data before providing feedback? Likely, the answer is yes.
Download the Giving and Receiving Feedback Guide Sheet; read it and try to implement it today.
